Left
by RinSabreDelta
Summary: When Jon announces he's taking the black and leaving for the Wall, Marleigh has no idea what she'll do. As her world crumbles around her, she tries to cling to the hope that the man she loves will come to save her.
1. Chapter 1

Marleigh couldn't believe the excitement that surrounded the castle as everyone prepared for the arrival of the King and his entourage. Her own duties in the stables had been doubled, orders having been given to make sure they were ready to accommodate such a high amount of horses. Winterfell certainly had the room, but those stables were rarely used and needed a deep cleaning. She'd been scrubbing floors and spreading hay all day when she was finally excused to rest. The King was too arrive the next day and all staff were to up and ready bright and early. She intended to sleep as much as she could, knowing how stressful the upcoming day would be. The sound of metal hitting something solid reached her ears as she walked, and she couldn't help but smile. Sure enough, she spotted Jon hacking away at a mannequin stuffed with hay, brow furrowed in concentration as he swung. She moved to stand nearby, watching him work through the movements the boys had been taught ages ago.

"Don't you ever get tired of fighting that thing?" Jon spun quickly, sword still up as she gave him a smirk. He relaxed almost as soon as he took her in, giving his own smile and lowering the weapon.

"No, I suppose not. Practice makes perfect." She nodded, glancing at the mannequin. It had clearly seen better days; the straw was sticking out of the holes where it had been slashed and stabbed over the ages. A part of her wondered at replacing it for them, but it wasn't her place.

"Is that one of your many lessons?" He stepped closer, sheathing his sword.

"Aye. One of the most important, in fact." He leaned against the same fence as she, looking over at the practice area. The sun had set some time ago, and the torches set shadows dancing across the ground and nearby wall. "Are you finally done with your chores?"

"Yes, thank the gods. They haven't even arrived yet, but I'm already anticipating the King and Queen's departure from Winterfell." Marleigh huffed, a stray lock of dark hair wafting up before settling against her skin. "The logistics alone are ridiculous. I mean, do they really need to travel with so many men and horses?"

"They are royal. A majority of those men and horses are there to keep them safe on the King's Road." Jon turned his head to give her a look and she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I'm aware. Still, who would thiink to attack the King? He's a feared warrior, is he not?" Jon nodded, chuckling.

"He was once, yes. From what I hear, he's less so now." They shared a short laugh and Marleigh's stomach flipped at the familiarity of it all. Stars begna to shine overhead, and she turned her gaze to them. "Do you want to go see them?" She glanced at Jon, who was also looking at the sky. She knew what he was asking; when they were younger, they would sneak out beyond the high walls and lay in the grass on a hill, naming the gods in the stars and making shapes and stories of their own. It was hesitation, not exhaustion, that held her back from answering immediately. Jon was giving her such a hopeful look, and she felt badly that she hadn't spent as much time with him as when they were young.

"I would like that." His smile nearly lit the night and set her heart hammering. Taking her hand, he led her away to the place they used to sneak out, waiting for her to squeeze through the gap before following. They reached the top of the hill easily, settling down in the grass as the chill breeze caused it to billow in waves. Here, the stars seemed brighter, and as Jon laid next to her, it was easy to forget how their lives had turned out.

"I'm considering taking the black." Jon's voice was quiet, but still cut harshly through the night. Marleigh stiffened next to him, not daring to look to see if he was serious. She knew he was; the sincerity rang clear in his voice, a harmony against the breaking of her heart.

"Why?" She could feel his gaze on her, but kept her eyes trained carefully on the sky, worried about what he may see in the depths of green in her eyes. He was silent for a few moments, wordlessly begging her to look at him, she knew.

"I have no place here. I'm nothing more than a bastard." There was a bitterness in his voice as he turned away. Marleigh was grateful for the darkness as tears sprung to her eyes at the idea of losing her oldest friend and first love. "I can find honor on the wall. That's more than I'll ever have here." If her heart was cracked before, his words shattered her now, and it took everything in her not to cry. She was silent as she worked to pull herself together.

"Can we go back? I'm rather tired." Her voice was hoarse from unshed tears, but if he noticed he didn't say. He stood, offering her a hand up and leading her back to the walls. Marleigh chose to remain silent as they reentered, turning for her room as soon as they were through.

"Wait, Lee." Jon caught her arm, turning her gently to face him. "What do you think? Of me, taking the black?" She managed to smile past the pain in her chest, knowing it wouldn't quite reach her eyes.

"I think...you'll make a fine man of the Night's Watch." With a bow of her head, she pulled from his grasp and took her leave, waiting until her door was latched and locked to let her tears flow.

The next day, she was too swept up in her duties to worry much about Jon. For the most part, she was only tasked with handling the soldiers' horses; the royal steeds had their own attendants. By the end of the day, her hair had stray sticking from it and she was covered in the dust she brushed from the horses' coats. The feasting had begun in the great hall, though she had every intention of avoiding it. Her warm bed was calling her name louder than anything, and she wanted nothing more than to sink into it. She could hear Jon practicing again; the sound reminded her of his words, and she did her best to avoid him. She couldn't stand to continue the conversation they had started. Marleigh knew better than to try and talk him out of it. His mind was set, and so was his course. She would lose him to the Wall, and there was nothing she could do.


	2. Chapter 2

Jon planned to leave when the Royal Family did, and Marleigh chose to bide her time. She knew once he headed to the Wall, she would likely never see him again. The last night another feast was held, and she found him outside practicing as she always did. Smoothing her hands down the somewhat nice dress she'd managed to find, she approached slowly, stomach churning. Jon hacked away at the mannequin, his swings seeming choppier than usual, and she realized he must be anxious. As she opened her mouth to greet him, a rider came through the gate. Both turned to see Benjen Stark dismount, though Jon only had eyes for his uncle. As the two men embraced, Marleigh slipped off towards her room, chewing on her lip as she headed to bed.

The next morning the entourage set out and Marleigh was quick to grab Jon and pull him aside.

"Hey, hey!" He looked down at her in shock as she worked to gather her courage. She kept telling herself that it wouldn't matter, that he would be gone and likely forget. With a deep breath, she leaned up on her toes, just barely able to press a kiss to his lips. His eyes were still closed, a surprised look on his face as she pulled away.

"I love you. I know it doesn't change anything, and that you're still taking the black, but I-" She hesitated as he opened his eyes, giving her an indescribable look. Her own gaze dropped to her feet and she began to retreat. "I just wanted you to know." Turning, she fled, ignoring the sound of Jon calling her name. Marleigh found an empty room in an old tower, peeking out at the mile long caravan that wound it's way up the King's Road.

The next month passed nearly without incident, though the young lord Brandon Stark remained in his deep sleep and the household attempted to recover. And as time passed, things gradually grew worse. Lord Eddard was killed and war fell upon the kingdoms. And everyday, Marleigh was convinced that she may never see the sun again, let alone her love. One by one, the Starks left Winterfell and the war raged on across the kingdoms. As Rob won victory time and time again, hopes were high in Winterfell, and there were talks of him becoming King in the North. With so many of the horses gone, Marleigh's days were easy, and usually she finished her chores by midday. And each day she wondered about how Jon was doing on the Wall, if he'd spoken his vows yet.

When word came of the Red Wedding, everything changed. Suddenly, there was no King in the North, no more Starks at the Winterfell since the Boltons had taken it. Ramsay walked around, claiming himself the new lord, and though everyone knew to keep quiet, there were still whispers against him. Those whispers continued to spread, even as men who were caught were flayed alive and left outside the walls.

"Marleigh Cartwell!" She jumped as she heard Ramsay's voice ring across the courtyard, turning quickly. He stood in the middle, flanked by two of his men, and gestured for her to approach. She only hesitated a moment before approaching, keeping her head down until she was close enough for him to reach her. Noticing the scroll in his hand, she began to panic just a bit. "A letter came for you." He tossed the parchment at her feet and she scooped it up slowly. The seal had been broken, but she supposed that couldn't be helped, and she read the words carefully. A furrow formed between her eyes, and she chanced a look up at Ramsay.

"My lord, I'm afraid I don't understand." He gave what would normally be a nice enough smile, but the coldness of his gaze always gave it away. A weight settled in her stomach as he gestured for her to follow him into the keep, his men flanking along behind her as they filed in. He remained silent until the door to the study had shut behind her, his men presumably on the other side.

"You'll do as the letter requests, of course. This will be so much easier than sending a raven to tell him about Winterfell belonging to me now." His words somehow left a sour taste in her mouth, and she worked to keep from grimacing. His dark smile was still on his face and she swallowed. "Besides, I'm sure some of them would be more than happy to see you." She gave a short nod, pressing her lips together tightly. "Go. You leave immediately. Take a horse, if you must." With a wave of his hand, he dismissed her, and she was quick to go and pack a bag. It wasn't until she was safely miles up the King's Road that she breathed a sigh of relief at escaping Ramsay's cruel clutches. She rode until dusk, finding a secluded area to camp, and only then did she pull out the letter that had come for her. By the light of the fire, she ran her fingers over the wax seal, committing to memory the shape of a crow in the black wax.


	3. Chapter 3

It seemed to take forever to reach Castle Black, and even longer to convince them to open the gate. It seemed they were fairly strict against women at the fort, though one could swear there was something else that was causing the issue. A stable boy took her horse and one of the Watchmen brought her to the Lord Commander, a large man called Mormont. He explained that the maester had asked for her presence based on a request from his steward, Samwell Tarly; there was a touch of disappointment at the idea that Jon hadn't been the one to ask. Once it was confirmed that a room would be prepared for her near Samwell's and that she was to meet the young man and the maester immediately for more instructions. She nodded, dropping her gaze to the floor as a man led her away. Her shoulder knocked against someone's side, and she was quick to apologize. The maester seemed like a kindly old man, and soon he was introducing her to his steward.

"Samwell Tarly, my lady. It's nice to finally meet you." He gave her a shallow bow, and she couldn't help but give her own smile. He certainly seemed friendly enough, and she began to relax.

"And you, ser." He seemed to blush lightly before gesturing for a young woman with a bundle to step forward.

"This is Gilly. Gilly, this is Marleigh, a friend of Jon's." The name rocked through her and she couldn't keep the shock off her face. If either noticed, they ignored it for now. "And this is Samwell Jr." The baby was adorable, all blonde hair and blue eyes. Instantly, Marleigh softened, giving a warm smile to the baby and cooing.

"Is he yours?" She looked up at the elder Sam and he shook his head.

"No, we rescued them, from North of the Wall." Marleigh's eyes widened. "They just want a better life. I wrote you because Jon seemed to think rather highly of you, and Gilly could really use the help. Castle Black isn't exactly an ideal place for babies, but they are staying with me." He seemed to puff up and Marleigh got the distinct impression that he cared rather deeply for this girl. With a smile, she nodded, and Gilly's face lit up with relief and happiness.

"Thank you, my lady." Marleigh shook her head, giving a chuckle as she hesitantly reached for the baby.

"I'm no lady. You can both just call me Marleigh." They nodded, the baby placed in her arms. Looking between them, she gave a look to Gilly. "And you look like you could use more sleep. Off to bed with you, I'll keep an eye on the small one for now." Gilly glanced to Samwell, who gave a nod and an encouraging smile, before thanking Marleigh and walking off. Samwell excused himself, saying he had matters to attend to, leaving Marleigh with the little bundle of joy. It wasn't the first time she'd been asked to help with children, and she briefly wondered why Samwell had sent for her of all people. Turning in the dining hall, she thought a bit before using her foot to drag a bench closer to the fireplace, settling down and cooing to the baby. She heard the door open and close, a brief chill breeze washing over her, but didn't look up from the babe.

"Lee?" Her head snapped up at the familiar voice, green eyes meeting with the familiar dark eyes of her friend. Jon looked shocked to see her, as though she may be a ghost; at his side, Ghost glanced between the two of them before trotting over to her, allowing her to pet his head. He was significantly larger than he had been at Winterfell, though if the legends were true, he would likely get a bit bigger. "What are you doing here?" He moved closer, sitting on another nearby bench.

"Samwell sent for me. I assume you mentioned me at some point." His cheeks grew red, and she ducked her head to the wolf. "Hello again, Ghost. I trust you're behaving well for the Watch?" He looked up at her with his striking red eyes, tongue lolling out on one side as he panted.

"Why would Sam send for you?" His voice sounded accusatory, and she began to consider that he wouldn't want her here. The memory of their goodbye flashed in her head and her cheeks began to grow warm.

"He said Gilly needed help with her baby. I was only too happy to come." There were a few moments of silence between them as she focused on the child, who'd fallen asleep easily in her arms. The warmth of the fire combined with her journey made her own self tired, but she pushed it away.

"How are things at home?" His voice was softer now, and she chanced a glance up at him. It was clear he had changed; he was harder, more tired, and it seemed as though something heavy weighed on him.

"They're not good, Jon." His brow furrowed. "Ramsay Bolton and his father own Winterfell now. There are no more Starks." She could see the shock and pain register on his face, and she reached out without thinking, brushing her fingertips over his hand gently. He always seemed to be just out of reach when it mattered. "As far as I know, Sansa is still alive. Possibly Aria. And there are whispers that Bran and Rickon escaped, with Hodor." He nodded, turning his hand to capture her own. The touch sent shivers along her spine, though she didn't pull away.

"Ramsay was a bastard, wasn't he?" She nodded, carefully balancing the child and trying not to wake him. Likely, he needed the sleep just as badly as his mother.

""Legitimized by the King as Roose Bolton's heir." Jon nodded again, eyes trained on their joined hands. She knew it would be a lot for him to take in and she sighed. "I'm sorry for coming, Jon. Ramsay said I had to, to make it easier to tell the Watch about Winterfell." His eyes met hers briefly, and she slipped her hand from his gently. "I don't mean to make things difficult for you. I'll stay out of your way, I promise."

"Is that what you think? That I don't want you here?" She nodded slowly and he huffed, dragging a hand through the dark curls atop his head. "You're my friend, Marleigh. Of course I've missed you, and I am happy to see you." He gave a smile and she gave a small one of her own in return. "Guess I just hadn't expected to see you again, here."

"I understand. Like I said, it will be like I'm not actually here." Standing with the baby, she did her best to nudge the bench back into place, not surprised when Jon did the work for her. "I'm going to go put Samwell Jr down for his nap. It was nice seeing you, Jon." He gave a murmured goodbye and she wandered off, stopping at Gilly's room with help from a Watchman to set Samwell to bed before finding her own room again, collapsing into the furs and falling asleep easily.


	4. Chapter 4

Castle Black was significantly colder than Winterfell, though the men here were certainly nice enough. At least, the ones Jon was friends with; she tried not to interact with the Watchmen much, not wanting to mess up their routine at all. Samwell was always quick to greet her and ask after her and Samwell Jr, and Maester Aemon was a sweet old man. Her few dealings with the Lord Commander led her to believe he was an honorable, good man, and she could see why Jon looked up to the older man. After a month of her staying, she was more at home than Winterfell, easily interacting with a few of the men and spending time by the fire with Samwell Jr and Ghost.

Jon didn't speak with her much, and she did her best not to let it bother her. When the Lord Commander chose to take some men North of the Wall, she was a bit worried, but kept quiet.

"Are you alright?" Marleigh looked up to see Gilly giving her a concerned look. The baby lay on some furs on the floor, playing with some wooden toys some of the men had made for him. In spite of the vows, it was clear the good men of the Night's Watch were more than happy to have the two women and the baby around.

"Well enough, I suppose. It's awful cold up here." Gilly gave a smile, nodding just a bit.

"I guess it would be, to a southerner." Marleigh raised a brow. "South of the Wall, I mean. I've lived above the Wall my whole life until now. You get used to the cold after awhile." Marleigh gave her own nod, one eye trained on the baby out of habit. Jon had gone North of the Wall with the others, taking Ghost with him. She found that she missed the great wolf's presence around her.

"Do you intend to stay here at Castle Black forever?" Gilly nodded, and Marleigh couldn't help but smile. "Well, I think when the war is finally over and Samwell a bit older, we should travel a bit. Let you see the rest of your new home." A smile spread across Gilly's face, filled with excitement.

"Do you really mean that?" Marleigh nodded, and Gilly pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you. That sounds wonderful." Marleigh returned the hug with a chuckle.

"I'm glad I could make you happy. You deserve it."

"Well, so do you." Gilly pulled away to give Marleigh a thoughtful look. "Doesn't your husband worry about you being here?" Cheeks warm, Marleigh turned to look at baby Sam.

"I don't have a husband. I worked in the stables at Winterfell." Samwell began to fuss and Marleigh scooped him up carefully.

"Really? I just thought...since…" Gilly seemed to be at a loss for words, and Marleigh gave her a tight smile.

"It's alright. The right man just...hasn't come along to sweep me off my feet." In truth, since Jon had left, a few men had asked to court her. Unfortunately, she'd never quite gotten over her love for the bastard, and so every man who asked was inevitably compared to him. Gilly was studying her, and Marleigh put a smile on her face. "Anyway...little Sam here probably needs a nap." Nodding, Gilly took the baby and gave a last smile before departing, leaving Marleigh to clean up the toys. A few of the men entered, giving her lingering looks that made her skin crawl instinctually. One nudged another and they began to approach her. Marleigh straightened to her full height, though it wasn't that impressive and gave her best glare.

"You know, it's so much nicer having you girls around. Easier than going to Molestown for your company." One reached out to brush at her hair and she swatted the hand away. "Now, now, don't you want to be nice? It'll be so much easier if you're nice." The leader grabbed her arm and she pulled her knife out from the folds of her skirt, swiping at his face and leaving a cut along his cheek. "Bitch!" She heard more than felt the slap to her face, adrenaline pumping through her. Two of them grabbed her, tossing her onto the table as the leader approached. She waited until he got too close, launching a kick at his groin and watching satisfied as he hit the ground with a grunt of pain. The man holding her right arm gave a sudden cry and was pulled away, just before the second one was as well. She turned to see Ghost chewing on one of their arms, Jon punching the other into submission. The whole ordeal was over in an instant, with a few more of the friendlier brothers coming in and dragging the attackers away.

"Are you alright?" Jon's gloved hand was cupping her cheek, his face inches from hers. She could see the concern and anger written on his face, and she gave a mute nod. "Why are you here alone?" He helped her stand, and she realized everyone else had left except Ghost, who looked up at them with blood on his muzzle.

"G-Gilly and Little Sam just left." Her voice sounded a bit shaky and he wrapped an arm around her in support. "Can't say I'm unhappy they did." The idea of Gilly and Sam Jr having to deal with those men made bile rise in her throat. Blinking, Marleigh looked up at Jon. "You're back."

"Yeah, I'm back." He gave a half smile, though it didn't reach his eyes. She could still see the anger there. Convinced she had her strength back, she pulled away from him and moved to pick up her knife, carefully wiping the blood off on the hem of her skirt. Jon didn't make a move to leave as she expected, instead watching her carefully. Straightening up her hair and clothes, she looked up at him.

"Thank you, Jon. I owe you." He opened his mouth, seeming to reconsider before closing it again and simply giving a nod. Marleigh sighed, looking around. "I would not be surprised if I was sent back to Winterfell because of this."

"It wasn't your fault. I'm sure Thorne will understand that." Marleigh frowned, turning to him. Now that the fear and concern were gone, it seemed there was a crushing weight on Jon, as though something terrible had happened.

"Where's the Lord Commander?" Her voice came out as a whisper and when Jon's eyes met hers, she already knew.

"The Lord Commander is dead."


	5. Chapter 5

The men of the Night's Watch had gathered to discuss the line of succession, and Marleigh decided it would be best if Gilly and herself laid low somewhere with the baby. A few of the men had tried to put an angry, older man in place as leader, but his demeanor led her to believe the Watch wouldn't last long under his control. After making sure Gilly and Little Sam were safely locked away in their room, she ducked into her own, less than surprised when Ghost appeared at her door to join her. The direwolf had been spending more time with her since Jon had saved her, and she suspected it was on orders from the animal's owner. Still, she didn't mind having the company; she found that Ghost made for an excellent cuddling partner. Curling up in front of the fire with the great dog, she grabbed one of the books Samwell had gotten for her, and settled in for a long night.

"Marleigh." There was a gentle voice in her ear and her entire body shifted, pulling her from the sleep she'd slipped into unknowingly. Confused, she looked up to see Jon kneeling next to her, a hand on her shoulder. She sat up fully, stretching as Ghost stood behind her.

"Jon...is everything okay?" He nodded, helping her up and guiding her towards her bed. As she sat on the edge, she noted it was definitively colder, and she debated on staying down on the floor.

"Everything is fine." There was something about the way he said it that had her paying more attention. She studied him for a few moments, and he huffed as if knowing what she was thinking. "The men just...they decided I should be Lord Commander." Her eyes widened even as she did her best to give a warm smile.

"Jon, that's wonderful. You'll make an amazing leader." The troubled look didn't leave his face and her own smile fell a bit. "...You don't believe that, do you?"

"So many of the men don't believe in me. Don't trust me to make the right decisions. And yet, none of them have seen-" He cut himself off and she turned to face him fully.

"Seen what?" He seemed to argue with himself over whether to tell her or not and she placed a hand on his leg, meeting his gaze with her own. "Please, you can trust me."

"I know I can. But this...this is the stuff of nightmares." Marleigh realized this must be what happened North of the Wall, and she stood quickly. With deft fingers, she removed his cloak and gloves, setting them aside and pouring him some tea from the small kettle she'd brought. Wordlessly, she handed him the mug and waited, knowing he would share in his own time. "The White Walkers...they're real, I've seen them." Now, Jon had never been the sort of boy to make things up. In fact, he had always been the most serious of Ned stark's children; always walking around as though the weight of the world rested on his shoulders alone, though he held no responsibility of position until now. Taking that into account, Marleigh weighed this new information, attempting to remember the stories of the ancient evil.

"White Walkers, like in the stories? Horrors born of snow and ice?" Jon nodded, sipping the tea, and she took a deep breath. The idea that the monsters of her childhood, and truly the childhood of every Northern child, were real was enough to make her blood run cold. As though sensing the unease of the two humans in the room, Ghost moved to put his great head half in her lap and half in Jon's, looking between them with large, sad red eyes.

"Aye, the very same. They convert the dead to their cause." Jon sipped his tea again as she stroked Ghost's fur, thinking over what this could mean.

"But, the Wall will keep them out, just like it always has." Marleigh knew her tone sounded far more hopeful than it should as she focused her gaze on the dog in front of her, unwilling to give up the hope that not all was lost.

"It may not be enough this time. We need to be ready to fight." There was a conviction in Jon's voice and she looked up again to see a fire in his eyes. This was no longer the boy she had laid under the stars with or chased across the courtyard in Winterfell; she realized that she, too, had grown from what she once was, and briefly wondered if Jon had noticed their change as well. Silence reigned between them as his words sunk in, that the war down south was only a precursor to what was to come.

"I will stand with you." He looked to her, surprise coloring his gaze. "What can I do?"

"No, Mar." He shook his head, placing one of his hands over hers and setting the tea aside. His hand seemed overly warm, though she easily maneuvered to take his hand into her own. "I don't want you anywhere near this."

"What would you do? Send me back to Winterfell to be abused by that Bolton bastard?" She hadn't meant for her voice to sound as harsh as it did, but the idea of returning to Ramsay had her stomach turning in the worst way. "Or perhaps you would send me even farther south, to face the war the Lannisters started?"

"No, I don't want any of that. I just want to keep you safe." Now he took both her hands in his, face showing his fear clear as day. Her heart hammered in her chest at the feeling of her hands wrapped in his much larger ones, even as she straightened and gave him her best glare.

"Now, you listen here, Jon Snow." He seemed caught off guard by her commanding tone. "You may be Lord Commander, but I am not one of your men. I am a Northerner, just as much a part of the North and the people of Winterfell as you are. I may not have Stark blood running through my veins, but I am no less one of our people. If we only rely on the men to do our fighting, then we surely stand no chance." He seemed to consider what she said carefully, and she went in for the kill. "We cannot win against an army if only half the population is fighting. It doesn't have to be direct, but know that I won't sit by and allow you all to sacrifice yourselves without putting in my all." Giving his hands one last squeeze, she scooted a bit closer. "Now, what can I do to help?" His gaze met hers and she could see the battle in his mind finally ending. As if he could finally find relief, he relaxed, giving her a small smile.

"For a start...don't leave me yet, okay?" She nodded, moving to give her friend a hug, and for the first time since he had left Winterfell, she felt as though things were right again.


End file.
